


I've Wanted This Before

by undermyumbreon



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Condoms, Consent, Day 1 - Exploration, Fingering, Fluff, M/M, NSFWVictuuriWeek, Nudity, One Shot, Sexual Content, Smut, Vibrator, VictUuri, checking consent, condom usage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-22 05:58:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11373993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undermyumbreon/pseuds/undermyumbreon
Summary: Yuuri is finding that it is becoming easier for him to be open about his desires with Victor. When he reveals that there's a part of himself that he wants to explore, Victor offers a solution.





	I've Wanted This Before

**Author's Note:**

> For NSFWVictuuriWeek, Prompt Day 1: Exploration
> 
> [Read my entry for Day 3: Roleplaying (NSFW/R18+)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11374059)
> 
> Include condoms and preparation in your erotic fan fictions. I’m begging you.
> 
> **I am open to corrections and critiques if anything in this story seems off and incorrect in terms of preparation and protection.

     Yuuri had always been a shy person when it came to discussions about relationships and intimacy. His lack of experience made him feel out of place amongst his peers. Growing up, Yuuri had always struggled to take his friendships to romantic levels. Even when he was reassured that he had time to figure out what he wanted in a relationship, his anxiety prevented him from pursuing love. It was after Victor’s arrival to Hasetsu when he began to challenge his own boundaries to understand his sexuality. For the first time in his life, Yuuri found that he had fallen in love. It was the most rewarding feeling that he had ever experienced.  
     As Yuuri’s relationship with Victor blossomed, he found that he was more comfortable exploring his body. In the past, lewd thoughts had always left Yuuri embarrassed. He had never been certain on how to approach his own fantasies. It wasn’t until he had met Victor that Yuuri became more assertive and open about his desires. He was having an easier time initiating contact and affection. He also felt safe confessing his lack of experience with Victor. The other man was never judgmental. Victor would even share some of his own intimacy misgivings. There were still times where Yuuri felt nervous about his longings, but Victor was there to give him assurance.  
     On the morning of their rest day from figure skating training, Yuuri was awakened when Victor wrapped his arms around his stomach.  
     “Good morning, Yuuri,” Victor whispered into his ear from behind.  
     “Mm, good morning, Victor,” Yuuri said lazily as Victor kissed his cheek. He felt Victor’s left hand slide down the side of his stomach to his hip, “What are you doing?”  
     “Nothing,” Victor replied in a playful tone. Yuuri jumped slightly when he felt him lightly pinch his backside.  
     “It’s too early for that,” Yuuri groaned. Victor liked to tease him often to surprise him.  
     “It’s almost ten.”  
     “Still,” Yuuri muttered, “Give me a minute to wake up.”  
     “Okay, love,” Victor’s hand returned to Yuuri’s stomach and gently rubbed the area, “How did you sleep?”  
     “I slept alright,” Yuuri turned over to face Victor and snuggled his face into the other man’s chest, “What about you?”  
     “I slept just fine. I really needed a good rest after this week of training.”  
     “Same here,” Yuuri sighed, closing his eyes as he listened to Victor’s heartbeat. Victor’s hand traveled back down his side to his buttocks. This time, Yuuri said nothing in objection. He liked the attention and teasing, but only when he was fully awake. However, Yuuri was caught off guard when Victor’s fingers slipped in between his cheeks. He fidgeted and grabbed onto Victor’s shirt instinctively.  
     “Is something wrong, Yuuri?”  
     “N-no,” Yuuri felt Victor’s hand stop moving.  
     “Are you sure?” the other man’s voice came off concerned. Yuuri took in a breath, building up his confidence.  
     “It just… feels good being touched there.”  
     “You like being touched here?” Victor pushed his fingers against the sensitive area once more, causing Yuuri to squirm.  
     “S-stop!” Yuuri rolled over, hiding his face. Victor chuckled at his flustered reaction.  
     “You don’t need to be embarrassed, Yuuri!”  
     “Yes I do!” Yuuri groaned while his face was in his pillow. He felt a hand caress his back in a reassuring motion.  
     “It’s okay to be curious, Yuuri. There’s nothing wrong with that.”  
     “I know, it’s just…” Yuuri rolled over to face Victor, “This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way.”  
     “It isn’t?” Victor looked at him quizzically.  
     “No…” Yuuri admitted, “There have been other times when you’ve teased me there and it felt good.”  
“Really!?” Victor looked stunned.  
     “Yes!” Yuuri felt his face heat up, “I just didn’t know how to bring it up to you. Before, I wasn’t sure if I was overthinking it or if I truly liked being touched there.”  
“I see…” Victor contemplated.  
     “Have you ever-” Yuuri tried to recollect himself from the revealing confession, “Do you ever like… being touched there?”  
     “Sometimes. I haven’t done so in a while, but I’ve touched myself there before.”  
     “W-what was it like?” Yuuri felt naïve asking him such a personal question. He had to remind himself that Victor wasn’t going to mock him for his lack of experience.  
     “It felt okay. I’ve felt more stimulation being touched elsewhere.”  
     “Have you ever…” Yuuri was overwhelmed, finding Victor’s answer to be too vague for his liking, “What about… inside?”  
     “Inside?”  
     “Yes… have you ever had anything,” Yuuri made a meaningless gesture with his hand, “Inside… you know?”  
     “I have!” Victor laughed. The reaction took Yuuri aback, “I’ve only used a vibrator on myself there once or twice.”  
     “What did that feel like?”  
     “I have to be honest, Yuuri, it just felt like something was up in there!” Victor continued to laugh.  
     “D-did you like it though?” Yuuri’s voice came out feebly as he tried to maintain his composure.  
     “It was…” Victor paused, appearing to think over the experience, “It wasn’t my favorite thing to do I’ll have to admit.”  
     “Do you think I shouldn’t try it then?”  
     “You want to try using a vibrator?”  
     “No- maybe- I don’t know!” Yuuri was struggling to fight the embarrassment welling up inside of him, “You didn’t seem too fond of it, so maybe we shouldn’t-”  
     “My body isn’t the same as yours, Yuuri!” Victor smiled, “What I may or may not like might be a different story for you. We’ll try anything you want to. We’ll just take it slow.”  
     “A-are you sure you’re okay with doing that even though you didn’t like it?”  
     “Of course!” Victor leaned over and planted a kiss on Yuuri’s lips, “I want to take care of you, Yuuri. I want to explore new things with you even if we don’t end up liking them.”  
     “Okay…” Yuuri said after a moment. He looked right at Victor, making eye contact with him, “I’d like to... give the vibrator a try then.”  
     “Perfect!” Victor flew his arms into the air before descending them upon Yuuri, wrapping him in a tight hug, “I think we have everything that we’ll need for you. But first-” he released Yuuri and dismounted from the bed, “I need to go wash my hands. While I do that, you can go wash yourself.”  
     “Do you think I should shave… down there while I’m in the bathroom?” Yuuri asked, hesitantly.  
     “You don’t have to. You know I’m not bothered by hair,” Victor reminded him. The sentiment comforted Yuuri greatly. Victor left the bedroom as Yuuri slid off of the bed. He headed into the on-suite bathroom and closed the door. It took only five minutes for Yuuri to strip, dampen a washcloth, and clean himself off. When he clothed himself and left the bathroom, he saw Victor sitting on their bed with a few items laid out before him. As Yuuri drew closer, he saw a small black pouch, a towel, a box of condoms, and lube.  
     “Are you all clean?” Victor smiled once more. Yuuri crawled onto the bed beside him.  
     “Yes. I made sure to get as clean as possible.”  
     “Good! Why don’t we get started then?”  
     “Okay, Victor…” Yuuri laid himself down on top of the sheets, adjusting his head to lie on his pillow. He grabbed the edge of his shorts and pushed them down to his knees. Victor took a hold of them and slipped the pair off the rest of the way. He then reached up and teased Yuuri by tugging lightly at the bottoms of his boxers.  
     “Do you want to keep your shirt on?” Victor asked as he pulled the undergarment down slowly and discarded it.  
     “N-no. You can take it off.”  
     “Do you want me to take my clothes off?” Victor stood up on his knees and shifted towards Yuuri. He grabbed a hold of the other man’s shirt and began to lift. Yuuri raised his arms as Victor pulled his top off completely, throwing it to the floor.  
     “No…” Yuuri felt his entire face radiate with warmth, “I like it when you’re clothed and I’m not.”  
     “I didn’t know that,” Victor mused, giving Yuuri’s lips a quick peck, “Are you getting excited?”  
     “A little,” Yuuri admitted. The chance to finally explore that part of himself sent a thrill through his body.  
     “Good,” Victor grabbed the towel, “I’m going to put this underneath you since I plan to use a lot of lube to help make it easier to move the vibrator inside.”  
     “How much lube?” Yuuri asked, lifting his backside enough for Victor to slip the towel beneath him. He settled back down on top of it as Victor opened a condom wrapper.  
     “You’d be surprised. It always depends on what you’re doing and how aroused someone is. I’m using a lot for this since it’s a new thing for you.”  
     “Okay, I trust your word on it then.”  
     Victor took the condom and stuck two fingers into it, pushing it open slightly. He then rolled the rest of the condom down past his knuckles.  
     “I’m going to start by using my fingers to help you test the waters. It won’t be the same as a toy, but I think it will help stretch you out a little beforehand.”  
“Did you do that with yourself?” Yuuri questioned shyly as Victor opened the bottle of lube and slathered a generous amount onto the condom's surface.  
     “Not really,” Victor chuckled half-heartedly, “I think it would have helped me enjoy it more if I did a better job,”  Victor positioned himself in front of Yuuri as he readjusted the condom only onto his middle finger, “Ready? Just tell me to stop if you want to stop at any point.”  
     Yuuri nodded at him, giving him the signal to proceed. Victor pressed his middle finger against the entrance and moved it in a circular motion. Just like before, Yuuri felt the familiar spark of arousal. His patience was already dwindling from the get-go. He had waited for a good few weeks beforehand when he was uncertain about his desires. In this situation now, Yuuri was more than keen to learn more about his body, especially when it was off to adequate start.  
     “That feels good, doesn’t it, Yuuri?”  
     “It does…” Yuuri huffed.  
     “I’m going to put my finger in now,” Victor cautioned. Yuuri quickly drew in a breath as he felt Victor insert his middle finger. The initial impression was strange. Yuuri wondered if the smooth toy would feel better going in than a finger. When Victor began to create spherical motions, it roused a quiet breath from Yuuri. Victor was careful as he maneuvered his hand to create wider circles as his finger pushed in deeper. For the next few minutes, Yuuri soaked up the attention.  
     “You’re grabbing me, Yuuri,” Victor broke the silence with a provocative statement.  
     “I- I am!?” Yuuri finally noticed how the rest of his body was reacting.  
     “You’re really aroused, aren’t you?” Victor commented as Yuuri hid his face behind his hands.  
     “D-don’t mention it!”  
     “It’s okay, Yuuri! No need to be ashamed about it,” Victor reassured him. He slowly pulled his finger out, drawing a sigh from Yuuri’s lips, “I’m think going to move on to the vibrator now. Are you ready for that?”  
     “Yes…” Yuuri breathed, “Go ahead, please.”  
     After disposing the condom into the garbage can placed next to the bed, Victor pulled out a small device from the black drawstring bag. It was a sleek purple vibrator that was much smaller then what Yuuri had seen before. It could only be a few inches long and an inch wide at most. When Victor opened another condom and adjusted it onto the toy, Yuuri almost laughed at how loosely it was fitted on. Victor reached for the lube bottle next and squeezed an equally liberal amount of it onto the condom.  
     “Are you still sure that you want me to do this?”  
     “I’m certain,” Yuuri said. Anticipation was building up inside of him as Victor moved the toy to Yuuri’s entrance.  
     “Okay, Yuuri. I’m going to start now,” Victor slowly moved the tip of the vibrator in a circular motion against the area as he had done with his finger. Yuuri tensed slightly by the sudden touch. The gesture only increased his eagerness to get started. Victor was truly the master of teasing. He knew how to draw out pleasure from Yuuri with even the smallest of movements. Victor kept a consistent pace for at least a minute before taking a pause. He leaned over towards Yuuri’s head, his lips brushing against his ear.  
     “Do you want to pretend that this vibrator is me?” he whispered. Yuuri’s breath hitched. The image sent a shudder down his back.  
     “Maybe…” Yuuri whispered back, his voice managing to remain confident. The mere idea of him and Victor and becoming so intimate in that manner was intoxicating. He hoped that they could reach that point later in their relationship.  
     “You seem really interested in the idea, Yuuri,” Victor mused, sitting up, “Are you comfortable with that?”  
     “I want… to pretend that you’re inside of me…” Yuuri admitted. His face grew hot at the confession. Victor’s suave expression briefly turned to one of shock.  
     “So forward, Yuuri!”  
     “Y-you’re the one that brought up the idea!” Yuuri corrected him. Victor laughed heartedly.  
     “I think you’re ready for me to put it in now,” Victor teased.  
     “Y-you think so?”  
     “You look so eager for me,” Victor sounded pleased.  
     “Victor…” Yuuri whispered, swallowing, “Y-you can go ahead now.”  
     “I’ll go slowly, Yuuri,” the other man promised.  
     “Yes, please,” Yuuri looked up at the ceiling as the vibrator was gradually pressed inside of him. The first sensation Yuuri felt was pressure. It wasn’t so much discomfort as it was the feeling that the object wasn’t supposed to be there. It took a few minutes for his body to start adjusting to the vibrator. Once the initial reaction began to subside, Yuuri could feel pleasure beginning to creep into his body.  
     “How are you doing, Yuuri?”  
     “I’m okay, Victor.”  
     “Is this a good pace for you?”  
     “Yes, please don’t go any faster,” Yuuri sighed, closing his eyes. Victor was now using his free hand to caress his thigh. While there was still some remaining uneasiness, it didn’t stop Yuuri’s fantasies from taking over. The deeper the vibrator was pushed in, the more riled up Yuuri became. Pretending that Victor was inside of him made Yuuri’s body warm all over. He wondered how much more pleasurable it would be when they would finally decide to try it for real.  
     “Oh, look at you, Yuuri!” Victor swooned, “You’re taking _me_ in so well.”  
     Yuuri’s cheeks flushed as a stronger wave of arousal spread across the lower half of his body. Victor’s wording was very erotic and it was turning Yuuri on immensely. The emphasis on the word “me” was what really got Yuuri stirred up. He could feel himself getting hard.  
     “How far in is it?” Yuuri asked, opening his eyes as he propped himself up on his elbows to get a better view of Victor’s work. Victor was looking down with a smirk on his face.  
     “It’s halfway in,” he teased. Yuuri huffed in disappointment.  
     “That’s not far in at all!” he exclaimed.  
     “It’s farther in than the first time I tried this on myself,” Yuuri took in a sharp breath as Victor looked up, his smile growing wider, “You’re doing so well, Yuuri,” Victor’s voice was dripping with lust.  
     “I want it to go in further,“ Yuuri insisted.  
     “You’re so needy today,” Victor toyed.  
     “Is that a bad thing?” Yuuri asked, playing coy.  
     “Not at all. I love watching you get worked up,” Victor kept massaging Yuuri’s thigh as he spoke.  
Yuuri let a soft whine slip from his lips. He was usually very quiet when engaging in erotic activities, but he couldn’t help expressing his satisfaction. However, it was only a short amount of time before uncertainty began to slither its way into Yuuri's mind. He noticed that the vibrator wasn’t penetrating him any deeper. Yuuri started to get hung up on the fact that the vibrator was only halfway in.  
     “Is it still going in at all?” Yuuri asked.  
     “I’m actually having a little trouble getting it in further,” Victor’s smile flat lined, “Just relax, Yuuri. Just lay back and relax.”  
     “O-okay,” Yuuri returned to his former position. He lied down on his back and stared up at the ceiling, breathing in deeply. He tried to relieve the tension in his shoulders, but the discouragement over his progress was getting to his head. He wanted to show off to Victor, but he felt like he was struggling to do so.  
     “Here, let me try turning it on,” Victor offered abruptly.  
     “Okay-“ Yuuri barely got the word when a strong vibration traveled through his body. He suddenly jerked his knees back toward his chest as heavy discomfort washed over him instantly, “Oww- Victor!!” Yuuri yelped loudly. The sensations immediately stopped.  
     “Sorry!” Victor blurted out, “A-are you okay, Yuuri!?”  
     “That hurt a lot, Victor-!” Yuuri gasped.  
     “I’m so sorry, Yuuri. I thought that would help you,” Victor’s voice was wavering.  
     “T-take it out,” Yuuri insisted.  
     “Okay, Yuuri,” slowly, Victor removed the vibrator. Once it was out, Victor stripped the condom off. He discarded the condom and its wrapper into the waste bin. A frown was creeping across Yuuri’s face as Victor was cleaning up. He was feeling poorly and embarrassed about his performance. At that moment, Victor crawled next to Yuuri and laid down beside to him, gently wrapping his arms around his torso and pulling him in close. Yuuri felt a pang of sadness when he saw Victor’s apologetic expression.  
     “I’m so sorry, Yuuri,” Victor murmured.  
     “Please don’t worry about it, Victor!” Yuuri insisted. He reached out and stroked his fiancé’s soft locks of grey hair, “I know what you were trying to do.”  
     “That was irresponsible of me. I shouldn’t have tried that when you were getting worried.”  
     “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, Victor…” Yuuri leaned his head toward Victor’s until their foreheads touched.  
     “I still feel awful about it ending like this.”  
     “I feel bad that I couldn’t take it in all of the way for you, Victor. I wanted to show you how much I wanted you.”  
     “I already know how much you want me, Yuuri!” Victor seemed bothered by Yuuri’s confession, “You don’t have to try and impress me,” he brought a hand up to Yuuri’s face, “I don’t want you getting hurt trying to amaze me.”  
     “I just wanted to make up for my lack of experience. I wanted to show you that I could catch up.”  
“There’s nothing wrong with taking your time, Yuuri,” Victor insisted, “I’m not going to pressure you into doing anything. I have my own things that I’m not experienced in either, but I want to take them on the slow side together so that we can enjoy the moment.”  
     “I understand, Victor,” Yuuri exhaled, “I just have to keep telling myself that.”  
     “In the future, I swear to do a better job communicating with you and asking you what you need,” Victor promised.  
     “And I won’t force myself to keep going even if I don’t like it just to please you,” Yuuri added. A loving smile returned to Victor’s face. It melted the despair Yuuri felt inside. He smiled back at his lover.  
     “It’s a deal,” Victor declared before asking, “Would you ever want to do this again?”  
     “Maybe, but… I won’t rush myself next time- _if_ we do it again that is.”  
     “Good,” Victor moved his hand to rub the back of Yuuri’s neck.  
     “Victor?”  
     “Yes, Yuuri?”  
     “Thank you…”  
     “For?”  
     “For doing this with me and being patient with me,” Yuuri lightly kissed Victor’s nose.  
     “Of course, Yuuri,” Victor kissed him back, this time on the lips. He lifted himself up from the bed and leaned toward the edge, “The clock says it’s a little before eleven thirty. Do you want to go shower?”  
     “Can we… take a bath together instead?” Yuuri offered, his eyes pleading, "After we take care of the dirty towel and the sheets of course."  
     Victor gave him a tender look.  
     “I’d love that very much.”


End file.
